Typecast in Albert Square

Everyone says actors are shallow, self-obsessed and it’s all about them. But as I said to my wife Mel in bed the other day, “Let’s not talk about me. Let’s talk about you. Which of the Eastenders episodes that I was in was your favourite?”

I was hired to compere a marketing awards recently. Naturally, I had to ask myself “what do I know about marketing?”

Well, as an actor I’ve been marketing myself for years. There’s the old phrase in marketing “You can’t polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.” Well I’ve been polishing this turd for years…and there’s glitter everywhere. It does get everywhere.

I have had to be realistic about my USPs, my target market and where I position myself in an extremely competitive market. So what have I got? I’m from Essex, 5”8 and stocky. Some would say barrel-chested-I think that’s a bit much.

A movement teacher at drama school once observed kindly “Ryan, you have no neck!” That wasn’t a good day.

I’m from Essex and my Dad used to be a policeman! So my type-casting was inevitable really. As much as I wanted to play sexy pop-stars or mad Nazi scientists, I soon accepted that my quickest path to market, that the lowest hanging fruit for me, would be playing coppers.

Rozzers.

Or as they are affectionately known in Essex, the filth.

So, back in 2007, when the call came from Eastenders, to play the new bobby on the beat in Albert Square, rather than be negative, I thought ‘that’s bang on my USP…and what a brilliant opportunity to develop as an actor and create a fully-rounded character that I’ve never played before. To make brave and courageous acting choices. So I played Sergeant Kenny Morris as a 5”8 stocky, barrel-chested Essex bloke. Usually with no neck. Proper acting.

It is quite surreal being in the Queen Vic or Ian’s Café or in my first ever episode… Shirley’s bed. Yeah, the police had turned up to bust a party and Sergeant Morris ended up staying for a bit of a knee-trembler with Shirley.

Yes, I certainly took down her particulars.

But, people do get sucked in. They think the Eastenders characters are real. My Nan’s always been obsessed with it and she asks me all the time about anything crime-related. Last year there was the whole ‘Who murdered Lucy Beale?’ thing!

She’d ring me up.

“Hello Nan. How are you”

“Never mind me. Have you got any leads?”

“What?”

“You might wanna go and have a word with that Billy Mitchell. He’s definitely hiding something!”

“Nan, I’m not a real policeman”

“I’m just giving you a little tip-off. That’s all”

“None of it’s real Nan.”

“Oh right, so you’re telling me you didn’t actually arrest Max Branning that time?” “No Nan. That was acting”,

“Or interrogate Ben Mitchell that time?” “No Nan. That was acting”.

“Or shag Shirley?”

“Well, that I did do. I was going through a rough patch.”

I’m joking, of course. Shirley wasn’t up for it.

I’m not in Eastenders anymore.